First In the Family

“He had his mind set already, ‘I’m not college material, I don’t want to go to college.’ I don’t want to be with somebody that doesn’t want to do something with his life, you know, so I just got away from him. You have to be careful who you talk to. They discourage you, some people. Even though they say they’re your friend, they might be jealous of you. They’re like, ‘Oh, college is not for you, you got to have a job and get paid so good,’ you know.” –Aileen Rosario, Montclair State University, Montclair, NJ
NOTE: These tips come from the first-generation students we interviewed for our book, First in the Family: Advice About College from First-Generation Students—Your High School Years.The students we talked to were diverse: African-American, Latina, Asian, Native American, Arab, and Caucasian. They came from all over the country. The schools they are attending include community colleges and state universities, elite private colleges and universities. You can find many more tips like the ones below in the book.

I met him in ninth grade, and he wasn’t into school. So he ended up getting his GED ’cause he didn’t graduate, and then I tried to talk him into going to community college here. He struggled with the same exact things that I did: “What if I’m not up to the level?” or “I don’t think I’m smart enough.” I’m like, “No, you’re smart enough, I know it, I believe in you!” Finally, I went down there and applied with him. He got a scholarship, and he’s been going to school ever since. He’s so smart and I’m so proud of him. He did the remedial classes first, ’cause he tested at a lower level, so he was working on that for a long time. Now he’s working on his last prerequisites to go for a two-year fire sciences program, and then he’ll have his associates degree. He keeps getting better and better at school. – Jackie

My identity in my house, ’cause I come from a big family, is “the one that goes to college, the one that’s trying to do something for her life.” My brother’s the one with the three kids who live with us, my other sister’s the single mother raising two kids on her own, my other sister’s only nineteen with a one-year-old son, and the other one is working in food services, the same job like my mother. Everybody looks at me, they’re proud of me. Just to know that somebody is proud of you makes you even reach for more. –Aileen

I was too shy. I always kept on my own, and if you want to go away for college you have to be kind of outgoing. It really wasn’t for me. Moving out, I’m not ready for that stuff right now. I just go to class, get out, come to work, go back to school if I have to at night, and that’s it. I don’t make it a social life, I just go to school. That’s the only way I know I could make it. –Aileen

I didn’t have a big sister or brother or even a cousin to go to and say, “What did you do in order to get in?” So I read other people’s accounts in books. I looked at the admissions websites for the different colleges. Maybe you have an ideal college in mind—that’s where some people start out. I know people who were like, “I want to go to an Ivy League.” So they went online and researched all the requirements, and that’s how they planned out their high school career. For me, it wasn’t necessarily that I wanted to get into a certain school. I just wanted to get into college. Things don’t always fall in your lap, you know what I’m saying? Like, everybody’s not searching you out. Everybody’s not looking for you. You have to take the initiative. – Niema

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